the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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