I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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