I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
