He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
