non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
