I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
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