On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I will be naked everywhere
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
