...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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