That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
