Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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