There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
