At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
