I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
