We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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