he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
