the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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