Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
