Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
