I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
She said her name was "party"
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Blood and glitter go together right?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
