I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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