Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
