No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
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