she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
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