im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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