update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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