I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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