dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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