Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
