That's intense
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
