allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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