so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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