i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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