Just fell off a train. Bad.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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