I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
