How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
