I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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