somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
