I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
