..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
