winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
