Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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