no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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