im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
