doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
