my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
