ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
