Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
