benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
