Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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