Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
